Sunday 9 November 2014

A Camera to end all cameras

Behold the CEC 2100

Last night I had a dream...

It is a minute to midnight on new year's eve, 2099.  While most revellers are choosing to have a traditional centenary celebration, geeks the world over have organised CEC parties and are in eager anticipation of the midnight launch of the world's best ever camera - the CEC.  They have heard all the rumours but CEC Inc. have been smart in their campaign and only released a single image to promote their groundbreaking new camera.  And here it is.
In the minutes leading up to midnight the manufacturer has been flashing specifications for the CEC across the internet and the mouthwatering list is epic.

- The outer coating is an unbreakable, bullet-proof 100% transparent polymer.
- Beneath this sit over 10 trillion sensors covering the entire surface of the CEC sphere.
- The sensors sit on a carbon-silicone matrix that transfers data from the sensors to the 100 terabyte processor beneath.
- There is no memory in the camera.  The camera streams constantly to the ether.
- The power source is electromagnetic energy.  The energy which the camera records is the energy which powers the camera!
- Each sensor is a powerful spectrophotometer with some added features.  It can record all imaging wavelengths of the electromagnetic spectrum from microwave - soft x-ray.  It can also accurately record the distance from wave emission source to the camera.
- There is also a pin sharp 360 degree surround sound recording chip which can be married with the visual images to produce a highly powerful video log.
- The neatest kit of all is an ion pulse system which prevents dust, grease and moisture resting on or clinging to the surface of the sphere.  Holding the sphere in one's hand, the feel is of soft velvet when the ion pulse unit is powered up.
- The CEC comes with mounting accessories so it can be mounted in different ways for different purposes.  Some of the mounts contain lenses which bend light so none of the 360 degree recording range of the camera is lost.
- The CEC can effectively focus from 0.1 mm to infinity but its high resolution range is approx. 200 metres. 
The CEC has no lens, no shutter, no viewfinder and no button of any sort.  It records a full 360 degree image every 10,000th of a second and comes with a 100 year warranty.

Some CEC geeks with more money than sense have already purchased the 'CEC Lifetime Package' for their children - 100 years of ether storage backup guaranteed so their children can record and access their entire lives with this device if they wish.  Universities and businesses are already contacting their lawyers seeking to ban the use of CEC devices within their walls!  Human Rights groups are mobilizing across the planet.

Birders on the other hand are in eager anticipation of this product because of an accessory that comes with it, the CEC spectrum.  Finally it is time to hang up the bins and scope.  Swarowski, Leica, Canon, Nikon and other formerly major players have taken out plenty of shares in CEC Inc and are now focused on other areas of their business.  The CEC is the only show in town!

The real power of the CEC is in it's user interface.  Birders in the early 21st century would be familiar with street-view in Google Maps.  The interface of the CEC is similar but much faster and sleeker, and the image has smooth movement and surround sound!  In live view, using the CEC spectrum head set, complex recognition software is available which is capable for identifying birds based on plumage, voice and gestalt out to a range of up a 1km.  Voice command recognition will immediately zoom the CEC spectrum to a chosen target and anti-motion software keeps the image motion-free, even on a boat!

The genesis of this project starts with the complete re-think of the digital camera in the mid-21st century.  Manufactures decided to stop trying to make cameras that emulate human vision and start to think well outside the box.  The sky is the limit!  

A closing word from the CEC CEO at the end of his centenary launch.  "By 2121 CEC will have reached critical mass.  Every square inch of every major city on the planet and every corner of every national park and wildlife reserve will be on permanent record.  No crime will go unpunished.  There will be nothing left to be discovered".  

By 2021 "the CEC sphere" has uncovered 100,000 new species for science, including a new species of bird living on Manhattan Island!

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